Raven's mom and I just got off the phone to discuss how she can best support Raven in their move to a new town, a new school, new friends, and a new grade. Raven's mom knows change is hard for both her and her daughter.
In fact, change is hard for all of us - adults, children, babies, and even our eldest members. Change is hard for so many reasons. Knowing the reasons change is hard can help us identify what to do to plan for the changes ahead. Humans are fearful of change because we don't like to be uncomfortable, we don't like to venture into the unknown, and we definitely do not like to make any mistakes along the way!
So, knowing that change (both big and small) makes us fearful in all these ways, we must take steps to lessen our fear of change. If you are trying to prepare your child for upcoming change here is what you need to do:- Talk openly about your fears and give talking space for all fears.
We often assume that keeping our fears to ourselves and hidden will make us feel better. But this is not true. All humans, but in particular, children need to discuss their fears, just like they need to discuss each bump and bruise. Telling you their fears, and hearing your own fears makes all feel heard, understood, and valued.
- Identify many possible solutions to all talked about fears.
Once a concern is aired, such as "I won't have any more friends". Many solutions need to be presented by everyone. "Maybe you will find friends at school." "Maybe you can join the swim team over there and make some swim friends." "Maybe there will be kids in our neighborhood that are your same age." Giving a lot of solutions opens up a child's mind to the many ways to cope with or even eliminate the fears they have.
Reply to this post if you want more suggestions for what to do once a change takes place and adjustment to change is not an easy task for you or your child.
