Changing Our Language: Strategy and Process Praising

We are all guilty of saying "good girl" or "you are so smart". Here you will learn a more beneficial way to praise.

Praise is a coernerstone to child development. Praising is how your child knows what they have done right and what your epectations of them are.

Praising poperly is very important. Most people's instinct is to praise based on success outcomes: good grades, behaving properly, meeting a goal, etc. I encourage all of us to limit this type of praise as much as possible, and instead praise children for streatgy and process use.

It goes a little something like this:

You say: "John, I am so proud of you for breaking that assignment up into managable pieces for yourself." (This is regardless of John's ability to complete each piece - because that was not what you praised here.)

Or, you say: "John, that was so awesome that you used the strategy of reading aloud to yourself to understand that problem more easily." (This is regardless of John's actual success on the problem.)

Or you can even say: "John, I'm really pleased with your ability to estimate 30 minutes for this assignment, and get it done in 20." (Notice: here you are praising the result/outcome, however you are doing so by rewarding the process that John took to get there.)

Praising appropriately will give your child a new perspective on your expectations. Instead of "Mom only cares when I'm right", you are transforming their thinking to "Mom loves when I try to succeed."